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Where Are You Looking?

It's All A Matter Of Perspective

As I approached mid-career, I had a mentor who always showed up with exactly the right thing to say in the moment that I needed it. He was visiting my store one day when he said the most peculiar thing. "Anika, you better get rid of that rear-view mirror." I am sure I looked puzzled, because that is exactly how I felt. Whatever I was emphatically describing to him at the time had not fazed him. He was focused on what was behind my words.

We stood there for a bit and I finally said, "I don't know what you mean." He started to explain to me that the more I looked in the rear-view mirror, the less focused I was on the road ahead. It was one of the powerful lessons that he offered to me. I willingly accepted it, but it took years to really understand.

Our relationship with the past is complex. There is a ton of benefit in learning from our choices, identifying patterns and reflecting on our growth. It becomes more detrimental to us when we hold the past with such reverence that we miss the opportunity to revel in the present. It can trip us up when we avert our eyes from our desires because we are fearful of repeating a past mistake. It hinders us when we allow fear of what was hold us back from moving forward.

There is a delicate balance that we get to define between the past, present and future. Weighing any one thing more heavily than the others can be problematic based on the perspective that is most valuable in the moment. Sometimes we need to visualize the future a bit more to help us gain momentum. Often we need to ground ourselves in the present so that we embrace the beauty of now. Occasionally reminiscing and checking in on our growth gives us just the inspiration we need for the journey.

I think a better question is, what we are looking for– and truly, for what are you looking. If you answer that question, you'll know if your gaze is resting in the right place for this moment.

My mentor reminded me that I was missing the preciousness of this moment while I was lamenting over my past mistakes. He reminded me that I remembered more about those moments than anyone else and that if I let go of them, they would no longer be relevant. It didn't feel like it was true in the moment, but I've lived long enough to know that he was right on the mark.

Hoping you keep your eyes on what matters most in this moment,

Anika

This week on the Anika Apple Podcast, I share how “My Identity Helped Me Heal.” Discover how understanding your true identity can lead to transformation and lasting self-awareness. Together, we’ll explore the difference between societal titles and your authentic self, and how embracing your divine purpose can bring healing.Watch the full episode now on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@anikaapple. Let’s embark on this journey together!

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Anika Apple is the Coach You've Been Waiting For! Imagine moving through the unseen obstacles holding you back from your most Remarkable Life. Anika is the... Read more Launch Your Integration Coaching Journey

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How Did I Get Here?

If there's one question I encourage you not to ask in 2025, or ever, perhaps it's “how did I get here?”

We've learned that asking “how did I get here” is a part of examining the experiences, choices, and decisions that have led us to the present moment. At work, we may use it as a part of an after action review or a way to assess the journey. We're taught to do this so that we will prevent that same situation from occurring again. But when we ask it about our own lives, we are tapping into something different. We create a moment that can shift the truth.

To be focused on the past, is to be grounded in what was, instead of planting ourselves in the present moment. This moment is what truly matters. When we look back, we find ourselves searching. Visualize yourself using a magnifying glass, picking apart all of the decisions that we made before we had the information that's present to now. We're using today's lens to review the choices that we made yesterday. Yet we were not as wise as we are today.

The decision to ask, “how did we get here” is often held with very heavy weight. It's laced with judgment. It's entrenched with a desire to find blame and to hold ourselves accountable for things we couldn't possibly have known…yet. As you might imagine, the choice to review yesterday’s path with the lens of judgment causes more harm than we realize at the moment. We are actually creating harm for ourselves which adds to the things we must heal on our journey. Instead of protecting ourselves, we are causing pain.

Let's explore some reasons why the way we have been conditioned to look back is not the healthiest choice.

“You know what you know, therefore, you don’t know what you don’t know.”

When you make a decision in the now, you're considering all of the things that are present for you. You bring in your acumen, your EQ, your IQ, perspectives from others, and any other related information that you believe to be helpful. Then you make a choice. The choice you make is the thing that you feel most confident about. Regardless of all of the facts that you may have considered, your instincts, and any other information that may have directed you elsewhere, you said yes. Why is that not ok?

We often forget that there is a process helping us unfold into who we truly are at our core. We call it learning. It is an opportunity for us to grow and to strengthen our resolve. What we learn leads us to a path that brings us closer to who we are. It is a part of understanding our purpose and who we've been designed to be. We have the opportunity to see ourselves revealed.

Think back to the moments where we fell off our bikes as children...

Sole2Crown-Crown2Soul Intuitive Guidance Session Get ready for an experience. In this intuitive guidance session, Anika will support you in reconnecting with your inner... Read more Get it now!

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